Unlawful Apples

From Fox News, a chilling account of a threat to freedom and liberty that all American's face:

A Californian woman who was accused of attacking an airport security guard for trying to seize her applesauce as she boarded a plane was fined $2,500 over the incident -- and is refusing to pay, The Glendale News Press reported Wednesday.

"Unfortunately, sometimes people in positions of authority are unethical, unprofessional or just downright criminal in their activity. And in that case, if you're in the right, you need to stand up for yourself. And that's what I did in my case -- what they did was wrong, and what I did was right."

Damn straight Sister!  Oh sure, it's just applesauce today, but before you know it the SS-like monsters at the TSA will  begin confiscating more important items like 25 ounce tubes of odorless "toothpaste" or the 16-inch hunting knife strapped to your tibia (for hunting *wink*).    

I don't blame her for refusing to pay the $2500.  Do you know how many packs of Mott's that can buy?  I'd say at least a week's worth.  Or, for the libertarians up in Michigan, I reckon you could buy your own apple tree and make your own sauce with enough spare change to load your 200 extra clips with fresh ammo for Bessy (your beloved AR).  Let's see them dirtbag Feds get their pork-sausage fingers on your applesauce now!

Here's where the story gets good:

But when the 58-year-old was told she couldn’t take it on the plane she refused to hand the blue container over -- sparking a "tug-of-war" with a TSA agent at Bob Hope airport in Burbank, Calif.

You see, the key here is to move fast and catch the agent off guard.  Any hesitation and the 50 or so agents in the area, who were daydreaming about their next smoke break, will be on you like rednecks on a "Dogs Playing Poker" painting at the flea market.

This clash took place at Bob Hope Airport of all places.  I wonder what he'd say about all this if he were still alive.

"Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued."  - Bob Hope

Amen, Bob, amen.

And the excuse for bringing a cooler full of applesauce to the airport?

Hays, who was heading to Nashville for a family wedding with her 93-year-old mother, insisted she had followed procedures and that her mother needed the items for a medical condition.

Don't laugh.  It's widely held knowledge in the medical community that applesauce is the ideal cure for bulshilitus - an unfortunately common ailment in the North Americas in the area between Canada and Mexico.  I feel the symptoms coming on right now.