(Reuters) - A Florida man has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for trying to break back into the jail where he had been held following his conviction in a manslaughter case . . .
He apparently feared violent reprisals from family members of the manslaughter victim and suffered severe cuts when he tried scaling a 12-foot-high (3.65-meter) barbed wire fence to break into the jail.
Although I commend his conviction (pun intended), there has to be easier ways to get sent back to the slammer.
COUNTDOWN!
Ten ways to relinquish your new found freedom without breaking a sweat:
10. Release a large metallic weather balloon into the sky and tell the cops a small child is on board.
9. Party w/ Ben Roesthlisberger
8. Hang out with the cast of Jersey Shore . . . just give it a few minutes, something's bound to happen (just try to avoid the hot tub).
7. Photocopy a one hundred dollar bill (two-sided - details!) 100 times and then make a deposit.
6. Don't have a copier? Just show up to the bank with a clown's mask and/or Ex-President's mask on and shout for everybody to get down (seal the deal by having a large can of mace in your hand).
5. Skinny dip . . . at the YMCA . . . right before youth swim class.
4. Go for a scenic drive . . . on the tarmac of an international airport.
3. Pee . . . on a cop car . . . with a cop (preferably two) in it.
2. Cross the border . . . by foot . . . at the San Ysidro Port of Entry . . . with a pound of the freshest sinsemilla strapped to your leg . . . underneath a pair of neon-yellow running shorts.
And the number one way to remove yourself from society (again) and be placed immediately in lockdown . . .
