Carbonation

I had this lovely little soothing exchange with my file back-up provider today.  In fear of retribution (they have a lot of my important documents) I'll avoid officially exposing the company - I'll just say that their name sounds a lot like Carbonate.

Me: Dear Carbonate, when I log into Remote Access none of my folders or files show up.

Nigel: Dear Matt, here are the instructions to log into the Remote Access area so that you can view your files.

Me: Dear Nigel, thanks for the incredibly useful info, but I already did that and my folders and files are not showing up.

Martha: Dear Matt, we have reviewed your account and it indicates that you are using Mozilla Firefox for access. Therefore we suggest you to use a different browser like Internet Explorer.

Me: Dear Martha, I am in fact using Internet Explorer, so this can’t be the issue. At home all of my files show as being backed-up (green), but when I log on remotely they don’t show up at all.  No files show up. Where are my files?

Pryce:  After reviewing your account, it indicates that you have installed one year subscription on 8/20/2009. You have 224 days left for your subscription to get expired.  You can use Remote file Access on any computer which is connected to the internet. Here are the instructions to access your files . . .

Me:  Dear Pryce, you're probably right, I don't really need to access my files.  Why would I want to go and do something productive when I can write several emails to you and the gang at Carbonate or write another post for my blog.  Well, it's been a real pleasure having you and your friends show me how stupid I am for clearly not being able to enter my email and password to login to my account.  What would I do without you guys and your cut and paste login insruction emails.  You're the best!

Oh, and go tell Nigel and Martha not to fret over hiding behind fake names, because I for one think they're totally believable. 

. . . I feel a burp coming on.