Breaking The Law

Breaking out of jail is for pussies.  It takes a man with heavy stones to break IN to jail:

(Reuters) - A Florida man has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for trying to break back into the jail where he had been held following his conviction in a manslaughter case . . .

He apparently feared violent reprisals from family members of the manslaughter victim and suffered severe cuts when he tried scaling a 12-foot-high (3.65-meter) barbed wire fence to break into the jail.

Although I commend his conviction (pun intended), there has to be easier ways to get sent back to the slammer.

COUNTDOWN!

Ten ways to relinquish your new found freedom without breaking a sweat:

10.  Release a large metallic weather balloon into the sky and tell the cops a small child is on board.
9.  Party w/ Ben Roesthlisberger
8.  Hang out with the cast of Jersey Shore . . . just give it a few minutes, something's bound to happen (just try to avoid the hot tub).
7.  Photocopy a one hundred dollar bill (two-sided - details!) 100 times and then make a deposit.
6.  Don't have a copier?  Just show up to the bank with a clown's mask and/or Ex-President's mask on and shout for everybody to get down (seal the deal by having a large can of mace in your hand).
5.  Skinny dip . . . at the YMCA . . . right before youth swim class.
4.  Go for a scenic drive . . . on the tarmac of an international airport.
3.  Pee . . . on a cop car . . . with a cop (preferably two) in it.
2.  Cross the border . . . by foot . . . at the San Ysidro Port of Entry . . . with a pound of the freshest sinsemilla strapped to your leg . . . underneath a pair of neon-yellow running shorts.

And the number one way to remove yourself from society (again) and be placed immediately in lockdown . . .

1.  Don't leave in the first place.  Seriously.  Shank some one in the leg with a sharpened plastic spoon from the mess hall or threaten the parole board with sadistic love letters or something.  Try to sell your homemade OJ-and-spit booze to a guard.  Get creative and you too can hide behind prison walls for the rest of your life.