A forum for the indifferent, malcontent, misfit, and lutraphobic

Disclaimer - This blog contains opinions basted with one or more of the following: logic, satire, irony, bitter thoughts, self-deprecation, and purely by accident, humor - and no, it's not in Latin.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

In A League Of Their Own

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you your headline of the week:
Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters

Poor old chap just couldn't go the distance.  

The money shot, er, I mean quote:
"It wasn't bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end," Gay said. "I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn't enough.

 This "race" is part of the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League - an annual track-and-field styled competition started in the late 80's to foster camaraderie and recognition within the Gay/Lesbian/Bi-Sexual/Transgendered/Transexual/TransAm community.

Other events  include the 100 Meter Redneck Hurdles, 50 Store Shopping Sprint, Women's Log Saw, Faux-China Discus, and everyone's favorite team competition, the One Square Block Residential Renovation Relay where the fastest team not only wins the gold, but sees their property values skyrocket.

New events slated for the 2011 competition being held in South Beach are the Triple-Ribboned Triple Jump, Interpretative Pole Vault,  and in the All Competitors class, the highly-anticipated Best Mustache.

4 comments:

  1. Ha! This reminds me of the Olympics a few years ago. Beijing, I think. American runner Tyson Gay caused quite a controversy. Actually, he had nothing to do with it, but the tightly wound communist press refused to refer to him by name, insisting it was pornographic, or some such thing. Thus, for every mention of his races, there was always reference to a runner named Tyson Homosexual.

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  2. Hey Matt. I hadn't heard that before. Very funny.

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  3. It gets funnier. I just googled Tyson Homosexual. It was not the Chinese, but an American Christian news service that used an automated program to replace "offensive" terms with more family friendly words. They were doing this with stories they pulled off the AP, but didn't disclose the changes. Their readers, who I'm sure weren't too bright, must have believed there was actually a runner named Homosexual.

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  4. That's hilarious. Who knew that homosexual was more "family friendly" than gay.

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